Taking Chances

Today’s writing prompt was to write something risky. I thought about it and can’t come up with anything majorly risky that people don’t already know about me. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. There are few things really private in my life and I usually keep them that way. But, overall, I think most of my friends – or anyone who reads my posts or Twitter updates – knows how I feel about things and who I am.

Javacia, founder of See Jane Write and our ringleader, wrote a post a few months ago about how she isn’t sure if she wants to ever be a parent or not. That was a very risky post, especially here in the Deep South where it seems to be the norm, but I’m right there with her. Yet, a lot of my friends already know that about me and I don’t consider it that much of a shocker (personally). I love kids and I love having fun, but the bottom line is that I enjoy my life and what I’m doing with it just like it is. I used to be of the mindset that I definitely didn’t want children. While I am maternal at times and a caretaker, I never felt the need or yearning to have my own offspring. I still don’t, necessarily, but am more open to the idea than I was in my 20s. I have always known that I don’t really want to be pregnant or go through childbirth. I’ve been told it’s a glorious experience and one that will change your life, but what if you don’t want your life changed? I simply don’t want to go through that – I don’t feel the need. The older I get, the more open I am to having a family, but I still don’t want to go through pregnancy if I have my druthers. I’d love to adopt. I’ve always thought that was the way I would go if I decide to start a family. There are so many children in the world in need of a good, loving, safe home and I could provide that. That being said, if I ever did get pregnant on accident or on purpose, I am sure I would be ecstatic and love the experience.

Still, I don’t find that a very risky confession on my part. I have a myriad of thoughts I could spill that you may or may not know about me – I supported and worked on the Obama campaign when I lived in Northern Virginia in 2008 and I’m doing it again here in Alabama, I am seriously OCD (some call it anal…including myself) and have ADD like no one’s business, I am scared to death of death and have great anxiety about it – so much so that I’m on medication for that and my OCD, I hate being fat and hate my body but a lot of women I know do. I’m trying to change that with Iron Tribe, but there are things they will never be able to fix like the varicose veins that run in my family and down my thighs, my rosacea, the adult acne that has cropped up in the past month or so that had me seriously considering being a shut-in for a while (I’m not kidding, I was that embarrassed to be around people), and my chronic skin issues that freak people out when they see them.

For having all those very valid (in my head) body issues, I had a wonderfully satisfying day on the body front. There was a meet up for women bloggers at the Shops at Grand River this morning. It was a wonderful meeting presented by the Shops and KC Projects to treat us women to a delicious champagne brunch, a mini style makeover presentation, a scavenger hunt through the shops, and a goody bag full of fun stuff. The food was from Olexa’s in Homewood, the decor was beautifully feminine, the stylist was Tracy James and she was fantastic. I am one of the least stylish people I know – I feel frumpy in my body and clothes most of the time. I know that anyone at any size can look good, but I never got those creative jeans (ha!) to make myself chic more than once a year. I work with a plethora of gorgeous, stylish girls who always impress me with their wardrobe combinations. I finally cornered one in the bathroom just last week and asked her if maybe she and another girl whose fashion sense I admire could give me a few tips one day after work. She gladly accepted, but we haven’t gotten around to it yet. That made today’s event that much more timely and special for me. I learned a wealth of new information regarding styles, clothing, trends and accessories. So much so that I immediately headed to the store to find a pair of neutral, but stylish, snake skin skinny jeans that Tracy mentioned. Me..in snake skin looking anything? No. Never. But I did. I went and they had 1 pair left in the Plus section and it was my size. Fate? Let’s see. I took them the to the dressing room and fell in love. I never would have even tried them had it been not for her gentle nudge to TRY them. And she was right! Go figure. 😉 I bought a great black cowl neck sleeveless sweater and a very hip cream faux leather jacket. I feel like a million bucks just from that one sassy girl outfit. Forget the fact that I discovered Maurice’s just a few shops down and fell in love again. Thanks to Jamie and Rachel, the eagle has landed. I will be asking for Maurice gift cards for every holiday from now on. I found the greatest little black blazer with military style embellishments on it, beautiful tops to go under it, a bunch of light cover ups and sweaters for the mild Alabama winter, and a plaid shirt to wear to Texas next week. PLAID! (I, again, have never worn plaid and never would have picked it if I weren’t going out on a limb today to try to get a little more together with my clothes). I can’t wait to wear the new outfits to work and feel a little better about my appearance in my frumpy body. I’ll get there, but this is a great start. I love my new wardrobe!

Off to wear something pretty to a play and a party. See you tomorrow. 🙂

Love yourself.
Find peace inside.
Share happiness.

*author’s note: I wanted to get my post in today, but have to run so am going to add links a little later tonight. So if you want to find out more about the wonderful people and places I mentioned, check back later for links. 🙂